Ray Skyhorse

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Posts by Ray Skyhorse

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  6

  JW's for Dummies (Part V)

  by Preston in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ... you feel invisible.... very few of your fellow brothers and sisters feel inclined to talk to you now.

  youre viewed as dangerous...funny, youve never felt this way about yourself.. .

  you start feeling like a scapegoat..... .

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  Ray Skyhorse

  Bravo!!! Thanks Preston!
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  29

  My Encounter with a Witness

  by Unclepenn1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well, the other night i had invited a young man to my house to share with him, respectfully, the false prophecies of the wt, using older wt books.

  the conversation started very nicely, with the usual small talk and such.

  i decided to ask some questions, that i knew the answers to, but just wanted to get the gears in his head turning.

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  Ray Skyhorse

  [q]Ray, how do I do this? Do I pretend for weeks that I am interested and then turn on him? I feel bad if I am deceiving someone. Please share more with me. Any suggestions would be welcome![/q]

  What you did is called an interaction. That is, you held a short meeting with a cult member in order to share information which would lead him out of the cult. What I'm proposing is that you simply invest a bit more time at getting the person out of the cult. What you need to do is hold multiple interactions with a person in order to establish a relationship. You are not "stringing him along." Your intent is to show him the truth, but only in bite size chunks that are easy to digest. If you do it too quickly, the person will employ defense mechanisms that have been pyschologically ingrained into them by the cult.

  I think you are a wonderful human being for trying to get someone out of a destructive cult. Your interactions with JWs can potentially save lives -- think blood transfusion issue.

  I suggest you read more about cults and methods for getting people out of cults. In particular, I recommend reading "Releasing the Bonds -- Empowering People to Think for Themselves" by Steven Hassan.

  As an xJW, you have the insider knowledge necessary to really help people. Be aware, it does take time and patience. Who knows, maybe you'll become an expert at this some day and write a book about it.

  Lastly, Uncle Penn, it is NEVER morally wrong to tell someone the truth. The truth is just easier for cult members to swallow when they are delivered in small chunks over a period of time.

  Peace,
  Ray Skyhorse
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  12

  Questioning

  by FreeFallin in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am new to this, actually my hands are shaking as i write this.

  i have been "lurking" for several months now, and am filled with doubt and fear.

  i was baptized 20 years ago, but have never been in the center of things.

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  Ray Skyhorse

  Giving this a bump.
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  29

  My Encounter with a Witness

  by Unclepenn1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well, the other night i had invited a young man to my house to share with him, respectfully, the false prophecies of the wt, using older wt books.

  the conversation started very nicely, with the usual small talk and such.

  i decided to ask some questions, that i knew the answers to, but just wanted to get the gears in his head turning.

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  Ray Skyhorse

  Thanks for sharing your story Uncle Penn. That was really good of you to try and get him out of the Borg. Your a noble human being.

  I would like to make a suggestion should you decide to do this again. Go much more slowly. Try not to hit a person with such explosive information from the get-go. Try developing more of a relationship with the person before showing the real "Truth". Wait until you have about 6 study sessions under your belt with them, then show them the info. I think they'd be less likely to run. Just my 2 cents.

  Peace,
  Ray Skyhorse
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  12

  Questioning

  by FreeFallin in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am new to this, actually my hands are shaking as i write this.

  i have been "lurking" for several months now, and am filled with doubt and fear.

  i was baptized 20 years ago, but have never been in the center of things.

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  Ray Skyhorse

  Wow! This is a really interesting topic. There is some really powerful ammo here for me to show my JW wife.

  Free Fallin, a hearty welcome to the board. I'm glad you started this thread.

  I have a question for the peanut gallery: Does the Society still knock the UN in their publications? What's the most recent edition of Awake/WT to be critical of the UN. I'd like to show my wife their change in policy. Thanking you in advance for the help.

  Peace,
  Ray Skyhorse
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  70

  My husband is smoking pot

  by jurs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know this is not witness related but i just caught my husband smoking pot.

  i am so upset !!!

  he is an alcoholic and has a terrible temper.

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  Ray Skyhorse

  (((Jurs)))

  I'm sorry to hear about the substance abuse problems in your household.

  Your post struck a chord with me. I've been addicted to various substances over my lifetime.

  I'm addicted to pot although I haven't used it for a couple of years (I gave it up when I got married). I'd rather be married to my wife than smoke a joint. I still dream about pot sometimes.

  I not an alcoholic although I used to abuse it (the booze made my pot buzz stronger). There are plenty of alcoholics and former alcoholics in my family and my wife's family. I no longer abuse alcohol.

  The hardest addiction for me to kick was nicotene. Those damn cigarettes. Man was that hard to do.

  Does your husband's drinking bother you a lot? You seem to be more pissed off about the pot than the booze or his bad temper. Why is that or am I mistaken?

  Wishing you the best.

  Peace,

  Ray

  P.S. How's the cosmetology school going?
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  14

  "Mom, I hate the Kingdom Hall"

  by Esmeralda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think that they are making all this stuff up.".

  this is the breakfast conversation that i had with my five year old daughter this morning.. "oh, really?

  " i said, trying not to choke on my coffee.. "mom, what if i get disfellowshipped someday?

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  Ray Skyhorse

  I'm really sorry about all the crap your daughter is going through right now. It really breaks my heart to read this stuff. Hugs to both of you.

  It sounds like you have good communication with your daughter. She sounds like a smart little kid. She already realizes that they are making stuff up. I wonder how she copes during the meetings? Do you think she sits there and daydreams or just looks around at everyone, bored stiff? Her situation reminds me of prisoners in solitary confinement. I've heard stories of prisoners who, in order to keep their sanity, construct houses brick by brick in their heads.

  You might encourage her to develop her skills at mental imagery (daydreaming)as a defense mechanism. Maybe she'll develop a good imagination as a result of this. I think you can help guide her at coping with her situation. Ask her what she thinks about during the meetings. Encourage her to discuss things that she thought about during the meeting.

  I'm a new dad and I hope my JW wife doesn't put our son through the ringer someday.

  Peace,
  Ray Skyhorse
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  24

  VietNam Era

  by Tina in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  reading country joe's posts got me thinkingabout the vietnam war era folks here.. what were you doing at that time?.

  as jw's and non-jw's,what were your feelings about the war?.

  are you a vet or child of one?.

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  Ray Skyhorse

  I was just a little kid during the Nam era. I remember watching the nightly news on our little black & white tv set in the kitchen. There were usually scenes of some news correspondent in the field with U.S. soldiers launching mortars or something like that.

  I remember my mom sitting in the kitchen one day and crying. She had received a letter from a relative. With the letter was a clip of hair from her cousin who was killed in Nam. He was decapitated by a helicopter. I remember trying to console my mom. It was very sad.

  Peace,
  Ray
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  80

  Food at Proper Time:Insider's Insight from Barbara

  by Maximus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  barbara anderson's attention was called to the thread about the differences in policy of great britain and the us regarding child abuse; as you know she has championed a change in that policy.

  another post caught her eye, and she expressed the desire to share some thoughts with you.

  i'm delighted to share her first post, which i know you will find riveting.

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  Ray Skyhorse

  Thanks for the interesting post Barbara & Maximus.

  [q]This statement got its human author into a heap of trouble. This is the same writer who was responsible for the ridiculous Nethinim "given ones" article in the W 4/15/92, and Questions From Readers, Watchtower of June 15, and the Oct. 15, 2000 purposely misleading directives on blood. By the way, everybody in the Writing Department knows who he is. [/q]

  I'd like to know more about "Nethinim" article and the other things you mentioned. Anyone care to elaborate? Thanks.

  Peace,
  Ray
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  12

  Silent Roar

  by silentlambs in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i received another call tonight; this person was given the silentlambs site about an hour ago.

  how can i convey the feeling when you hear the same tearful words over and over again?

  i thought i was the only one.

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  Ray Skyhorse

  [q]
  1. A video taped apology to all victims to be played at all congregations of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

  2. A written statement in the form of a letter to be read to all congregations. If you are molested go to the authorities first.

  3. Anyone who has ever molested a child should be forbidden to go out in field ministry for life.
  [/q]

  With all due respect, Bill, I don't think those things go far enough. In my opinion, based on what has occurred with the Catholic Church case in California (see http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=10421&site=3 )I think the terms of settling a civil court case should go further.

  The Archdiocese in L.A. and Orange counties made this pre-trial settlement:

  -Removal of priests who molest children

  - The establishment of an 800 number and a Web site to allow for child-abuse complaints to be submitted anonymously

  - The distribution of an informational pamphlet on sexual abuse;

  - The reporting of child sexual abuse to the archbishop

  - A no-fraternization policy

  - Assistance to sexual-abuse victims

  - A procedure under which clergy will sign an agreement to be bound by the provisions of the "Archdiocesan Policy on Sexual Abuse by Clergy."

  - The reporting to civil authorities of child sexual abuse by clergy

  - Check-and-balance procedures involving reviews of Catholic school principals

  - The introduction of an exit-interview procedure for use with seminarians who leave prior to ordination

  - The maintenance of personnel files, each of which will include information on where additional data about an employee may be obtained.

  The JWs are multibillion dollar corporation(s). Once they start losing a few jury trials resulting in multi-million dollar verdicts they will begin to make significant concessions to their victims. They'll act just like the Catholics. I really think they need a website and and an 800 number for their victims. The website should be part of their main website and be transparent or monitored by a third party. They should post their apology on the website. The wording for any apology to the victim should be agreed upon by the Society and the victim prior to the ink being dryed.

  I'd also like to encourage people reading my posting to write to their state legislators to adopt a "no-gag rule" in child abuse cases regarding the terms of settlement. The RC Church and other religious organizations have been hiding behind the no gag rule for too long! I think the settlement terms of a lawsuit should always be a matter of public record whenever child abuse/molestation is alleged. I think legislatures do a disservice to the public by allowing plaintiffs and defendants to enter into private agreements when child abuse is alleged. Letting child molesters and institutions hide behind a gag rule in child abuse cases only promotes further molestations. The victim may be financially compensated but it does nothing to promote public safety. One the contrary, it promotes abuse. So, please, take a few minutes and let your state legislators know what you think!

  Peace,
  Ray Skyhorse

  The only thing evil needs to succeed is for good people to do nothing. Bill, your my hero!